International Women’s Day 2015 | #DearMe: Letter to my 16 year old self

Dear Me, 

I did try and keep this short and sweet but as you can see the fact you like to write and ramble really hasn’t changed in the past 6 or so years. I’m gonna break the space/time continuem here and let let you know what you should’ve known in hindsight. 

You’re cooler than you think. You need to stop comparing yourself to your friends. Sure they’re awesome, they’ve gone to more emo-rock gigs than you, they have piercings, their parents give them a bit more freedom than you, they have boyfriends. But remember you’re awesome too. They’re friends with you for a reason, so stop beating yourself up with self-doubt about why people want to hang out with you.

No one cares what your body looks like. Stop pinching and prodding at yourself. Eating disorders aren’t cool and beating yourself up because you don’t look like Emma Watson is not ok. Fashion tastes change. Baggy jeans don’t suit you. Neither does the whole 'ah yeah I’m a total tom-boy like Avril Lavigne’ attitude and putting other people - especially other women - down because they don’t comfort to your standards of what’s ‘cool’.

You know what’s cool? Embracing your inner geek. You know you’re a geek and you’re friends know you have a few nerdy obsessions but you put a damper on that. Why? Again it’s the whole cool thing. I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to do that. You’re nerdy-ness is a fantastic part of you. It’s not nerdy-ness really. You’re passionate about things and that’s certainly not a crime. You love online RPG and Harry Potter and have an unhealthy love for McFLY. So what?

One day you’ll discover the most incredible feeling in the world is to be in a room where everyone else loves and feels passionate about the same things as you. Take that feeling and embrace it, because it’s wonderful. 

You’re introversion is your greatest strength. One day you’re gonna watch a book called ‘Quiet’ and it will change your life. You should feel comfortable being on your own. In fact you’ll travel halfway across the world solo and it will be the best thing you’ve ever done. You’ll find an online community that will shape you in more ways than you can count as well as friendships you dearly cherish, all because you feel more comfortable interacting this way.

Stop worry so much. Ok maybe don’t stop worrying altogether but loosen up a bit. School is hard but it’s not the be all and end all, College is even harder but again it’s not the end, and University isn’t this miraculous place where all your problems will get solved because guess what? It’s hard too and it’s only the beginning of your journey. You need stop thinking about life as a set of goals to tick and you need stop putting so much pressure on yourself to tick off everything on your bucket list before a certain age. Because, hey, you will fall and you will fail and it will suck major balls. But you have to realise that life will take on different paths you can’t account for and you just have to go with it. And sometimes it takes you on an even better path than you expected. 

It’s ok to cry but don’t dwell. Move on. No one will remember your failures and hardships in the years to come and you won’t either. Remember karma has it’s way of coming towards you…sometimes it just takes a while for it to do it’s rounds. 

Talk to your parents more. Guess what? They’re human too. You’ll find this out at a really horrible time, but that moment pulls you all closer together. They love you. Don’t take them for granted.

And lastly, I just want to tell you that you deserve to take up space in this world. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re an amazing person and secondary school is just a tiny blip in this rocky road of life. 

So I guess that everything I wanted to say. Chin up chickadee, it doesn’t feel like it now but you’ve got some good times ahead of you <3

Lots of love, 

Ria

p.s. stop over-plucking your eyebrows. There’s a hella rad woman named Cara Delevigne on the horizon that will change e v e r y t h i n g.